Also, I know I informed you that my daughter was suffering from strange seizures (after having recovered from the clearly imaginary salmonella thing) and that we couldn't ACTUALLY afford to go see a doctor because we don't ACTUALLY have health care, but I have recently MENTALLY conjured up a specialist as well as the MENTAL cash required to pay that specialist. I'm now eagerly awaiting a phone call from the MENTAL Specialist, at which time I plan to mentally wish away our credit card debt so that I can pay for whatever treatment little Amber requires.

Actually, as I write this email it now occurs to me that you may not have a way of receiving it. I know your business was faltering and that you were considering closing it up, but then again, since the economy is only in trouble in our minds, you've probably MENTALLY gotten yourself a kicking small business loan to make the whole problem go away! Thank God the problem are all in our heads, huh?

Look forward to seeing you! I'll grab you guys at the airport in my MENTAL electric car, since I don't have the means to ACTUALLY pay for the gas to come get you!

(Speaking of which, I'm sure your ACTUAL 401K is in the tank, but I've thought up some amazing stock market buys that may still allow your son Phil to go to college!)

Love, Al

PS: I'm sorry to hear about Nathan in Iraq, but I know that you'll get through the pain... since your grief and suffering is just MENTAL. Maybe you can just dream up a new brother!